Collective “Self” Care
I find it helpful to check in weekly on how loving I am being in body, mind, emotions, and spirit to this sacred “Self.” It is a privilege to be alive in a body. While I believe I am one with all and part of the “Body” of the Whole, I can only practice in this singular body which on a spiritual level is not separate from other bodies. When I do so, I am practicing Self-care as an act of radical love to affirm equity and well-being for all beings. I care for myself in solidarity with the movement for the collective care of humanity. The multiple pandemics have reminded me how inextricably connected care of self and care of the community is… “Care is labor that we all do for one another” says activist and author of See No Stranger: A Memoir and Manifesto of Revolutionary Love Valerie Kaur.
“The way we make change is just as important as the change we make,” Kaur reminds those of us of who are tempted to overwork, do it alone, or skip taking a break to allow joy to co-exist with the ongoing work of social change. “Without loving ourselves, our other efforts to love fail.” So, we continue to work to change the systems that prevent wellbeing for all and maintain wellbeing while engaging in the change. We put the oxygen masks on ourselves and then others as they would tell us in an airplane emergency. We hold fast to the vision of a world where all can breathe freely. We do this as collective Self-loving.
To inquire about my Self-loving, I ask myself: Where am I exercising loving of Self with ease? I try to celebrate all that I am already doing. We often forget to celebrate what seems normal or easy, but it is so important to express gratitude for the nourishing habits we have already cultivated. When I take a step back and look at the bigger picture of my life, I see just how many more ways I am living in alignment with my values now than a few years ago. This motivates me to be more loving for this body, mind, emotions, and spirit, and hence more loving of others.
I recently completed a mind map exercise to explore how many new strategies to love the Self I had adopted during the pandemics. I was amazed at seeing them all in front of me. I may not be at 100% with each, but collectively, I see a huge positive shift in loving kindness and responsiveness to my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs, and the resulting net positive effect in my relationships and my service to collective care of the whole. I help to create the beloved community when I consider each member including myself as a beloved.
Where might I need more tending? Where am I closing myself off from community? Is there support I need to shift behaviors that are harder for me? Can I be compassionate with myself in the gap between where I aspire to be and where I am? These kinds of self-inquiry questions require courage to ask! Can I give myself credit for being willing to look and see the truth with non-judgment? I have never shifted a Self-loving pattern by shaming or chastising myself. What works for me is taking a gentle inventory and asking for spiritual guidance about what simple steps I can start taking now to get the ball rolling in the direction of greater love. I also find it useful to align with the natural mentors in my life who are skilled in areas where I am on a learning curve.
Care Ideas for Times of Stress:
Keep a routine.
It is stabilizing for children and adults to keep daily routines so some aspects of life stay the same amidst changes. For more about the benefits of routines, see this helpful WebMD article.
Check in with your body.
With gentle curiosity, tune into your body several times a day as an act of loving self and community-care. Perhaps set a reminder on your phone to purposefully pause. You may want to take notice of your breathing or the sensation of your feet on the floor. Engage the five senses to come into the present moment. It is important to stay grounded during times of stress. Some resources for embodied practices are linked below but call upon your own traditions for what is grounding to you: Stanford University, Spirituality and Practice
Honor your Emotions.
Accept what you are feeling and make space to tend to both expected and unexpected emotions. To read more about how to emotionally cope with traumatic events, see this Helpguide.
Boost your immune system.
As much as possible, get regular sleep, eat a healthy diet, avoid excess sugar and alcohol, and exercise daily. Can’t do all of them? You are not alone! Focus on what you are doing and what aligns with your values most. Progress not perfection. Think of each healthy activity you do as filling your “wellness tank.” Help kids to focus on what they can do to help them feel empowered too. See the resource guides available from the John W. Brick Foundation if you would like more support.
Take breaks from the news and social media.
It can be triggering to constantly flood yourself with negative information. Children are sensitive to the news and take on the stress of others. So, safeguard them and you from background news being played constantly.
Go outside and connect with the natural world daily.
Being in nature is a good immune booster and one of the most normalizing activities for adults and children. To read about its psychological benefits, visit Nurtured by Nature by the American Psychological Association. Give yourself the gift of awe.
Use your creativity.
Art is healing. See inspiring research that proves what we intuitively know. If you have children, consider engaging in a family artistic project.
Engage in communal sacred practices and social action you find meaningful.
Whether it be with your religious community, your self-selected tribe, your cultural or geographic community, or like-minded individuals, connect with people and practices that nourish you. Social action is an outgrowth of our loving connection to Self within community. It is what builds the Ubuntu notion of the beloved community. To read more about the benefits of spirituality, visit: Benefits of Spirituality by Medina.
